7 Habits of a highly effective me

“ The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money. ” — Anonymous

Today I woke up to an article on the 13 things successful people DO NOT do. I have been struggling with my own definition of success for a while. After I made a decision that money is not the most important thing in the world, it started becoming increasingly elusive. Almost an "up your face" move by the money gods. For shame money gods, For shame!!! I have been going through a period of how best to redefine the importance and maybe more importantly the role money should play in my life. In the past few months, I have even begun reading on success stories, blogs, talks and such. Really listening and understanding their stories and their failures and their eventual successes. Lessons learnt, what they would have done differently and other etc's. I am still out there living frugalously (is that a word!o_O) and counting my pennies. But to be honest, I came across these safari rally guys in Voi on a Thursday and the only thing I could think was "I want to do whatever I want to do with my life when I'm 40. I don't want to be counting pennies and living frugulously." Move over money gods,I'm a girl on a mission. Now that I am well on my way to some sort of emotional health, it is time to work on my financial freedom.

So, some of the things this inciteful article told me about wildly effective and successful people is: They don't spend countless hours feeling sorry for themselves, they don't waste time fearing change, they do not worry about things they cant control (lost luggage, traffic, other people...especially other people), they do not make the same mistake over and over again,they do not resent other people's success among other tings.

I am still very far from an even semi-decent idea on how I am even going to go about this but I am leaps and bounds from where I started from. Maybe not financially, but definitely psychologically. I admire those people who wake up in the morning and purposefully buy the paper to check the stock market and read the business inserts. I buy my newspaper for the Andy Capp cartoon (I know. I am very ashamed.) But mentally, I have began shifting. If my country is celebrating its Jubilee, I should also be singing from the roof tops on what I have achieved. Not standing on the sidelines waving a tired flag, watching other people's successes and being all snooty hippie about the non importance of money. I want to go for a safari rally on a Thursday dammit.

I know that money is not the definition of success but there are some things I have always believed I will have in my older age that cannot be bought by cowrie shells and beads collected during my moments of meditation by a barely clean Nairobi river. So, with this new mind set, I have embarked on "The 7 habits of a highly effective person":

Habit 1: Be Proactive. Take initiative in life by realizing that your decisions (and how they align with life's principles) are the primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life. Take responsibility for your choices and the consequences that follow.

So after a rather fatal financial blow and a stint of self pity, I am back in business,albeit cautiously....very cautiously...but back nonetheless. I have licked my wounds,I have had a strong talk with my business operandi and given them many disappointed looks. Onward Christian soldiers,we shall march on. Proactively. But the biggest reason,I have decided to continue is because I really like what I do and life had gotten a bit empty and quiet since I stopped. Yes we shall march on.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind. Self-discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals. Envision the ideal characteristics for each of your various roles and relationships in life.

I have the whole plan in mind and I have decided to dedicate this month to writing it down somewhere on a piece of paper and I shall put this valuable paper where I keep important documents like my birth certificate and log book (technically, I just give things to my parents and they keep them somewhere....but I know for a fact, they never get lost.) Write the goal down and plan the trip there. :-) And then pray hard. On your knees and prostate on the ground and loudly then get to work.

Habit 3: Put First Things First. A manager must manage his own person. Personally. And managers should implement activities that aim to reach the second habit. Covey says that rule two is the mental creation; rule three is the physical creation.

What are my priorities. Financial freedom, other people's welfares, to tell people I am rich,what, what woman?!! This must be the hardest habit for me to pick up. My mind gets so easily derailed and discouraged. And though this may take all of my time,I shall achieve. First things first,you say...so be it.*waves determined finger in the air*

Habit 4: Think Win-Win. Genuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. Value and respect people by understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had got his way.

THIS.IS.SPARTA. That is all.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. Use empathic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, and positive problem solving.

It is easy to assume that I am always right. Though this may be the case,sometimes, it is good to understand that other people's opinions and knowledge are just as important. Self importance makes for a lonely life.

Habit 6: Synergize. Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals no one person could have done alone.

As the saying goes,no man is an island,much as he may try. Finding people who can not only do things I can't, but also strengthen my weaknesses is bound to make me a better person I think. They keep saying it in those wedding type shows so I guess it must be true for all the other parts of life. Come on life,let's make a great team.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. It primarily emphasizes exercise for physical renewal, prayer and good reading for mental renewal. It also mentions service to society for spiritual renewal.

Yeah. What the book said.