So there you are, thinking that when you grow up, you shall find your self a man who shall fulfill all your dreams. The Prince to the fairy tale that is your life. At least all your financial dreams, if nothing else. You have watched all the movies, all the programs and read all the fairy tales and mills and boons. You already know how this story should go. Girl meets boy, girl establishes wealth quotient, boy marries girl and girl lives happily ever after.
But there is a problem. In all movies, fairy tales and such, its always about the girl. The girl always lives happily ever after. They always leave gaping holes in these stories of love. The stories that involve getting a man, involves you taking a nap or going to a bash your "evil mother" refused you to go to...or (and this is my favourite) you kissing the proverbial frog. There's something very incomplete about this tales.
No story, sit-com or rom-com ever mentions the hard work needed to find and maintain a relationship. The pains, ups and down (not just an up and a down). They never mention that most women are emotional nightmares and men have enormous, unfounded egos to protect. They don't mention that not all girls are born sweet, all step-mothers born evil and all men born handsome and wealthy. And they never say what happens after the big kiss. Why?
i) The Cinderella Story: This is the classic tale of rich boy- poor girl. Wrong. This is the classic story of rich boy rescues trust fund baby from trash-type step mom. Cinderella already had a rich father. She already had training in good graces and which spoon to use to eat what food. She knew you gently dub the side of your mouth after every bite and you never slouch on your chair. For her family to get invited to a royal party, she had to have been born of royalty. You cannot come from the grass roots of far and beyond and then start hoping that royalty awaits you. I am not denying that a person for whom English was a fifth dialect cannot marry right into the Windsor Golf Club. But such stories always make the news. And such stories have bloodshed and scattered bodies in their past. It's like lusting after a Fendi Bag, and yet you have never even been inside a City Walk. So sweetie, the kind of Prince that you're hoping for, doesn't chill at the corners of Grogon.
ii)Rich girl meets poor boy and other fibs fed by sitcoms: In a lot of these sit-coms, there's always a wealthy daddy's girl who falls madly in love with a boy from close to no where. The family after a half hearted attempt to fight it, end up embracing his family and letting him move in and sleep over whenever he pleases. This situation is even more ridiculous than the Cinderella scenario. It can happen; but in the real world where everyone else lives, dines and dies.... people live, dine and die in social classes. Especially women, unless they are rebelling. But that usually only lasts for a few days before they go running back to comfort. There are those like us who look for coins for bus fare and work our way up the corporate ladder then there are others, who unfortunately were born above the corporate ladder. The platform above the ladder is where you have to be seen to be loved and you have to be invited to be seen. Stop chasing while you are still ahead.
Lady and the Trump
iii) Sleeping Beauty: Have you seen your face in the morning? Honey, you are not a sleeping beauty and your breath is not fresh for kissing. And the only kiss that will get you out of that "I will die alone" attitude you are in, will neither be from a stranger or be given to you while you are sleeping. Handsome looking chaps are everywhere but if one of them came and dropped his lips on me, he would walk away without his important man parts. And if he tried it while I was asleep, he would probably leave without his throat too. Love is nurtured not kissed into you. So stop walking around hoping for the kiss of life.
iv) Kissing in the rain: I will admit that this is usually my most favourite scene of any mushy movie. The big apology in the pouring rain. my heart melts just a little watching it. The romantic apology in the rain. The dramatic kiss of forgiveness. #Sigh...But then I wonder, what if he wasn't home? What if he gets robbed standing out there in a dark, cold night screaming her name? What if her father attacks him with a machete? But worse, what if he doesn't care and just turns and continues sleeping? So what happens next. Does s/he just stand there catching rain related diseases? Some things look great on the screen. I will cry at the window....but she/he sleeps like a dead log and when s/he wakes in the morning and finds your cold dying body stuck in the mud, you only have yourself to blame.
v)You got Mail: "I saw your words and just fell in love with your soul.." hehehehe! Sorry. I do believe people fall in love in many different ways but I have only heard of this happening in real life once. I am a firm believer in always starting with the basic rules of engagement before you can declare yourself an exception. First date, make up your mind, second date, make up his mind. If you were meant to fall in love with someone's words, you will. But don't go trolling the net hoping someone will see your flawless writing and come flying down from Uruguay for you. Some dreams are best reserved for the movies.
Fairy tales do happen and to the most unlikely people in the most dramatic ways. As they say, life is stranger than fiction. But...but life requires work, it has no script and more often than not, doesn't work out quite like you pictured it in your mind. So as you venture into the next big thing, by all means, keep an open heart but an even more open mind but remember, your life is a lot harder and requires a lot more work than the movies.
Common and his song "Come Close"