Why I want to get married

Like every single woman in the world, and yes, I do mean the whole entire world, I have no idea what marriage means, looks like or feels like. Alot of what I think marriage looks like is wishful thinking. . So with that disclaimer out of the way, I shall start my single wishful thinking.

I have been on a dating hiatus for a while now. It feels like a decade ago when I actually had some sought of giddy feeling about a member of the male species. The danger of being in one of these hiatus things, is that it gets to a point where: a) You get too comfortable being by yourself. So much so that personal appearance takes some sort of back burner. Not that I'm a slob, but it doesn't bother me any more that I have nothing great to wear, or that I have postponed the salon 2 weeks in a row, or even that I dont have a decent pair of shoes left in my wardrobe. I just live and let live. b) You forget how to date or any part of the dating process (pre-, during and post- dating process). You forget how to flirt, how to drink, how to eat, what to say, how to kiss, touch, argue. The hustle seems to over whelming. You even forget how to read the signs....you know, those signs which tell you a guy is likely to be into you ....yeah, those signs. Those signs that you are supposed to respond to so that you can get yourself taken for a nice meal.

I did not actually realise this until a couple of weeks ago, I was looking for someone to take me for a little procedure at a hospital which happens to be across town and after no little amount of scrolling of the phone book,had to ask my poor mother to re-arrange her day for my little excursion. I thought it was ridiculous that I had to drive to my mum's so that she can drive me back to my place then back to her place afterwards. I felt strangely exposed by that. I had to endure my mother nursing me back to health under her close eye of scrutiny. Surely there must be an easier way of doing this. So I decided, with no small amount of thought to it, that it may be time for me to get back onto that bandwagon. Appropriate shoes shall be acquired, the baggy clothing and kaftans shall be benched and proper language of dating shall be carefully studied and understood. I'm back people. *shouts the girl in her faded tracks in the sitting room* I'm coming out.

Anyway, back to the story at hand. Why I want to get married. 1. I am a lazy shopper especially if I realise I shall not die without a particular item, like a kettle, or clothes, or a bed. I need some sort of purpose to buy certain items. I think a husband would give me some sort of purpose to buy things that are perceivably important. It may even stop me from coming up with excuses of why onions are not an important ingredient in food or why shaving is not a necessary process in grooming.

2. I have eaten the same meal for 5 days now....5 DAYS. My housemate cooked on Sunday and since we eat in small quantities or not at all, I am still struggling to clear the potatoes. I am bored out of my mind, but my mama told me, we do not throw away food. Now, if there was an unsuspecting food-pit wandering in the house, I could have had spaghetti on Tuesday and Ugali on Wednesday and I would be eating something wonderfully different today. Not potatoes and chicken that seem to miraculously multiply . 3. I am a huge movie buff and I have wanted to go for a million movies in the last couple of years but I've only managed a couple. Reason? My peeps, my passe, ma hommies don't sit around waiting for me to come up with great ideas of how I want to waste away my evenings. They have their own lives. (and going to the movies alone makes one look terribly lonely). Now, a husband may not entirely solve my cinema going problem, but he would definitely reduce it significantly. Companionship is everything at the cinema.

4. Nothing beats complaining about your day to someone who has no choice but to listen to you. He is of course allowed to give advice, to some extent. It's also nice to discuss big decisions with someone else. Changing jobs, careers, tattoos, neighbours, businesses, investments etc. But when I have a particularly horrid day, especially those that I really don't want to talk about, it would be nice to have someone to go home to.

5. It would be nice to have someone who drives and actually enjoys it. Someone who can reverse, parallel park, doesn't shake uncontrollably when the speedometer goes past 120kph, knows where to put water for the wipers, and can tell what is under that big pan like looking thing under the bonnet. Also someoene who can change tires, knows the smell of leaking oil, enjoys chilling at the car wash, understands how to interpret a japanese car manual, can set the radio ....... I'm fine staying home cooking, if he is willing to take the car to the garage and wait for it for 3 hours. 6. Going out is a trial for me nowadays. I like to nap for a while before I go out in the evening for anything. Even dinner. With my heavy dislike of driving at night, I always wake up and decide its not worth the effort. It sure would be nice to have someone who lives in my direction who can occasionally be bullied into my schedule and drive me after my nap. 7. The wedding dress. I'm not big on the elaborate weddings with a multitude of flowers and maids and people I wouldn't know from Adam. I, however, have an unhealthy obsession with the dress I shall wear on the day. I think I have thought about the dress more than any other part of that wedding, including the husband. If that dress could transform into a human being, I would probably,most definitely marry it. My mother who believes in no skin being shown to anyone at any time will hate it. I am not wearing it to annoy her but the dress in my mind is so fabulous, I don't mind showing a little classy skin.....it is the absolute. Now, seeing as people will think me bat shit for wearing it on a sunny Wednesday afternoon, a husband may be help put things in perspective.

sema Vera Wang 8. My absolute fear is growing old alone. I never imagine myself having to live out the rest of my life alone. Living in an apartment where I shall be eating the same meal for 4 days in a row, have no one to go home to....but most of all, I am afraid that I will never experience absolute love and commitment, whether for a man or a child, whichever comes first. I think my life would be a little sad and there is a part f me that will regret never knowing what that would feel like. I'd like to state for the record, tha if a year from now, I am still alone....it is probably because I was too lazy to wake up from my nap.