Where I'm from....where I'm going.

She rode in on a black sports bike. We all agreed she looked cooler than anything we had seen that day. She had black leather boots. Kitten heel not the hooker keel kind. They were over black pants, with a heavy leather jacket. Not pleather. We could tell because it didn't reflect light back into our eyes with the vengeance of fake fabric. Although in retrospect, pleather would have done her well if she was trying to avoid those silly reflective jackets. The bike wasn't large. Not the obscene types you see at mall entrances that take up full parking spaces without the decency of paying the parking fee. It matched her small frame. My guess would be no larger than a 250cc engine Suzuki sports bike. Small enough for her to handle, but not too small to be mistaken for a delivery guy. We hated those delivery guy. We loved this woman. She was everything we wanted to be but couldn't. At that moment, she was 'femme fatale'.

When she finally disappeared from view, I couldn't stop thinking about the bike. The bike I wanted to buy but never could. I wanted to be the girl on the bike. Not the girl staring at her from the inside of her very safe car. Now that a new year is dawning on me glaringly, I have to sit down and make a few resolutions. Least of which may or may not include a bike with a matching helmet and jacket. :-) Resolutions that are made on my birthday or on the days leading to the day are usually much more meaningful, more substantial than the usual new year's euphoric declarations. Its who I am. Alone, in the silence of this one day that God decided to bring me into this world. It's a moment to look back, to stand still, to look forward,to remember and plan. Am I going to be the girl on the bike this year or am I going to be the girl admiring and wishing forever to be her. Now that I've given up my dream of being a rocker chic, (My fingers bled when I tried to learn the guitar. I love my fingers!!)it's time to plan on who I want to be. It may not be biker chic, it may never be rocker chic but I need to define a clearer path that what I wish or wish not to be.

I've stopped seeing life as a day at a time. One moment after another. It has come a time to put behind the YOLO's and Carpe diem's and actually chart a way forward for myself. As the good book says, "it is time to put behind my childish ways." and put behind I shall. So since my revelation almost 12 hours ago (how very grown up of me!) I have decided to lay out a 10 year plan. Yes, all 10 years into my future. I plan to commit. Because that's what grown ups do. They plan ahead, they save, they invest, they don't party every day, yes, I shall be an adult and I shall commit and by Jove, I intend to be good at it.

For almost 3 decades, I have had life planned for me. You go to school, you go on break, you go back to school,you take another break and so on and so forth.In between there, you rebel, you get back your bearing and tearfully confess, you fall in and out of love with abandon, you learn a few new things, you intentionally remember and forget others, you basically just live life because you can. You are infallible, indestructible, forever. But those days are quickly waning. My heart is quite averse to heart break now, my money is finding new ways to insult me and my body doesn't bounce back from punishing fun and excitement as quickly as it used to. I won't kid myself and say that this is short term. This is how it shall be. Forever. That is why I intend to plan. Because my spirit, and bits of my body that have survived this far, demand that I grow up.

So what are my plans for the next decade? First I think I have to say how super excited I am about the year ahead. Such possibilities. It feels like the beginning of a great era, like the explosion of the 60's free loving or Y2K when we all thought we were going to die and be reincarnated into unicorns and angels. It's a rebirth and I plan to start it with the excitement it deserves. So at least for this first year, I think I'll try and lay down some roots. Some viable ground rules. Make a real investment into my future. Something I can look back on and say 'I did good.' Since I come from a proud lineage of owners of 'kale kaplot kangu', that is where I shall begin. From a point I can proudly say 'kale kaplot kangu kako ruiru, tunafaa tukauze'!! That is my big plan. I haven't bought the land yet so that I can sell it, but I shall buy a piece of land which shall have my legal name on my legal documents. Which I shall put in a safety deposit box in a bank. Yeah, I'm going all fancy with it. I shall even wear fancy Victorian gloves and a hat when I'm going to drop it off. Just like in the movies. That shall be my main focus this year (the land not the gloves). Because everything after that shall be funded from that kaplot.

I also need to start setting my academic ground work. There's a masters program to start preparing for. Big goals to achieve. Maybe even much, much, muuuuch later, think of a Doctorate. I'll be Dr. fancy gloves. I've always wanted to live abroad for a year. Just one year. No more. Preferably Milan. Hopefully, I can make my year abroad and my higher education ambitions coincide. Enjoy some culture while I better myself. Kill two birds with one stone. In fact I can kill another bird I've wanted to bring down for a while. Learning a new language. French. Maybe Italian. If I'm lucky, both. People in this office are always buzzing off in French and I'm left wondering what kind of education I received. Maybe my new education shall be funded by my piece of land in Ruiru or Syokimau or Isiolo. Maybe the Lord shall be good to me and get me a benefactor who shall think educating me is the best thing that happened since the discovery of penicillin. Whichever the case, Milano, here I come.

Now that I'm all grown, I think I've decided I should be a big part of making someone I believe in get into a position of power. Great power. Not like vote for a politician who I believe in, although voting is extremely important to me. (As soon as IEBC starts registration, go get yourself registered. It is absolutely important.) I mean like someone I know, someone who's passion I understand, someone who has explained to me in painstaking detail over many years how they are the change I and everyone I know and do not know, should invest in. Alot of ground work has to be done on my part. Getting to meet and know the right people. Knowing the right offices to go to. If I can have my voice heard by someone who can make a difference then I believe I can make be the change I need to see in my community and beyond. I'll be much more focused then, so even my ideals will be much more focused. This is definitely a 'so help me God' venture because for sure, for sure, I have no idea how I'm going to get it done. With great power comes great responsibility, I hate seeing power or responsibility squandered. I believe I'm old enough to influence at least one person into power. That should be my responsibility.

Like I said last year, this will be a great year ahead....(and I wasn't that wrong) but this time I am thinking, this is going to be a great decade. A glorious era. Whatever happens, whoever happens to stumble upon it and however they intend to do it. God has big plans for me. Watch this space and maybe next time when you see me I'll be in my fancy jacket and matching helmet, but probably on a scooter.