My Ant

I had this ant doing the rounds on my desk this morning. Usually ants are the only creeping creatures I don't run away from. But this was no ordinary ant. It was huge. Like it had taken steroids and then hit the gym and finished off with a glass of raw eggs and disgusting protein shakes. I thought it would eventually notice I was disturbing its daily routine and bite me, and I'd eventually swell up like a cartoon and then never be able to write, or draw or shop again. So I did what any other sane person would do. I put my phone over it and crushed it. then just to make sure it was dead and gone, I hit it down with my shoe severally.

I have a strange fear for dead insects. I can't touch them. I walk around them for days until they start to blend with the furniture. Sometimes I give them names then I start talking to them and eventually we are so close I mourn when someone unwittingly gets rid of them. Good thing about dead insects is that they don't have that smell that dead rats have. So now, I have this curiously large insect in front of my keyboard watching me work with its critical large eye. Just chilling. Enjoying the view. Or so I hope.

Speaking of rats, I learnt yesterday that rats actually live in gardens. I had always assumed they live in houses like normal people. You know. Just chilling in ceilings and dusty corners and in perfectly curved holes like Jerry (Tom and Jerry). Imagine my shock when my mother said she was going to let a cat loose on our garden because the rats were uncontrollable. I quietly wondered why they weren't indoors.Especially in these season.

(Back to my ant). Maybe I should take a photo of this ant. It must have a family somewhere hoping its going to come home with the goods. Or maybe it was homeless and I put it out of its starving misery. Maybe it was one of those unsung heroes in its community. A pillar so to speak. But my educated guess judging by its size, it was a bouncer in a kicking club. you know those guys who have grotesquely big bodies, small heads and even smaller voices. The ones you are scared off until they start talking to you and you are trying your darnest not to burst out laughing.....

Maybe I should have saved it and ushered it towards my workmate who has decided to put his volume at maximum and it is oh! so not the best music in the world. Its distracting my thought process. It would have taught him a lesson. And they would have sized each other up proper. Large ant meets large lunje man. The face-off. This ant will my friend this week.

I think I'm going to call him Allan. I have never had a friend call Allan.