Clande wa daily.

"Clande wa Monday,
Clande wa Tuesday,
Clande wa Wednesday, Thursday na Friday"

That song has been on my mind all week. And the fact that Homeboys has been playing it on a loop doesn't help. I have no clandes so don't think I sing this song with random persons running around in my mind. I am not calling myself a saint but I have serious phobias of STD's and other unmentionable problems that are caused by certain lifestyles. But then again to each his own.

I am not going to point fingers at anyone who has a side dish somewhere for when the main female/male is faking headaches, monthly problems or long hours in the office. Almost everyone I know has "a just incase" number in the phone book. Whether or not they shall ever use it. It's our own quiet way of saying that incase your particular choice of idiot messes up, you can pretend to walk away unscathed. We don't admit it to other people and sometimes not even to ourselves but when push comes to shove there's always that other person standing in the shadows.

I always wonder whether the other person knows that they are the "just in case". Am I someone's "just in case"? Dammit I never thought about it until today!. Anyway, they may not be clandes in the traditional sense of the word and you may not particularly do anything "down and dirty" with them but they are on speed dial for when you are lonely or bored or just need company or derailment or whatever. They are like unpaid emotional help.

A "just in case" is different from a friend. They only know about you as much as you would let them. You don't particular hang out or talk every day. You only think about them under certain circumstances and sometimes when you day dream, it's their face you see...but only sometimes. They are your secret weapon. They have everything you wished your current idiot of choice had but none of the stuff that you really like so you have them because you need to think you could do better without actually doing better. You don't particularly love them. You like them quite abit but you never quite love them.

The great thing about "clande wa daily" is that you only get the best of them. Mostly because they are only in your life occasionally.You don't get their mood swings, their debt problems, their personality flaws. All you get is the sweet candy exterior. They do all the things that your main pre-occupation refuses to do because he/she is afraid of heights/busy/car is in the shop or whatever other excuse he/she is used to giving you. So when main squeeze is not talking to you is when you think "I could walk away now and just hook up with 'just in case'"

But at some point when age and your mother catch up with you, you realise you have to give up your "just in case". They may be comforting for a moment but you know they are not meant to be. I guess that's the point most people get married, put the number and memories on the shelf, breath out a sigh and quietly walk away. It is easy to walk away because there was no emotional investment. You'll probably even invite them to your wedding with no hard feelings. Even share congratulations. They are not the ones that got away. They are just the ones that could have been. And you know at the back of your mind if you were to have an intense affair (if you haven't already), they would be your first choice hands down.

They are your friend, your next door neighbour, your ex-classmate. They are your "just in case". You will never say it out loud to anyone but you every time you meet you think "that was the best 20 minutes of my life!"