What keeps me up at night.

I used to be able to sleep like a log not too long ago. Just hit the pillow and drift off with not a care in the world. Sometimes I still do but nowadays its just sometimes. Somewhere in the course of my life i discovered I'm not just a warrior, I'm a chronic "worrier".

The moment I discovered that is the moment I started sleeping like a nervous calf. If my brother is out, I'll spend my night twiddling my fingers. If a friend doesn't reply an urgent text, I pace like a caged lion. That is why I get so upset when a response isn't almost immediate. If things don't go as plan, I sweat like the Zambezi.

So nowadays, I stay up nights staring at CNN and worrying about tomorrow and my friends and my family. I'm quite particular and specific about how things are done and more often than not, if things don't roll as close to the plan as possible, I either worry or become a highly irritable female. Doesn't help that I'm more stubborn than a mule on heat but those are the things that keep me looking at my phone, switching my computer on and off, making tea and pouring it out.

Most of the time, the people I worry don't know I worry and pace and spend nights killing and reviving and then killing them again for taking me through some of these things. But then I have also done my fair share of stupid stuff that has made people close to me pace around and sit by the door and stay up at night. Most of them I don't even realise. And if I have never said it and you are one of those people, I am sincerely sorry.

That's what keeps me up at night. For some people it's money or work or education. For me, it's people. I keep thinking if something should happened, I may just be unable to cope. So take care of yourselves. At the very least, so that I can have a couple of nights of good night sleep.