I wanna be a Billionaire...

I have always wanted to have a lot of money. In my mind when I look into my future, I have a Range Rover(and a powerful Subaru) in the garage, a sprawling farm house sitting smartly upon acres in Limuru and a booming business in the suburbs. I also have time for the kids, cook supper for the family and attend all my friend's parties on weekends. I am true force to reckon with.

However the older I get, the more I notice flaws in my future. It's hard to run the mansion and run the business and I don't know how I'll make the money and still make the time for everything else. I can't imagine the kind of work I'll have to put in to get to that point where everything is running like a well oiled machine. All the toes I'll have to step on as I make my way to the top. I am slowly realising that the road to success is a very dirty road.

My problem is that I want the success without the dirt. I can deal with the sweat if I put my mind to it but I'm not too sure I want to bribe, beat, kill and plagarise to get to that 4-car garage. The wealthy tend to compromise more than most and I don't think I have the heart.

Now, there's the problem, I have a heart, meaning I have emotions, meaning I am too soft. The people at the top are heartless and cold. They cut their losses without a second glance and scheme and manipulate without consideration. Every move they make is perfectly calculated to fit into the next. When they decide on a course of action, you better have written an iron-clad will if you plan on standing in their way.

If I do ever make it to the top, I'd like to have my friends and family intact. I mean my real, true friends, not the networking type that are here today and rich tomorrow. I guess the personal side of success is the most dangerous balancing act of them all. The billions tend to numb you to pain one causes to their loved ones and blind to the souls of those you start to think are less than you. I don't want to wake up one morning and find I have no one to leave my legacy to and those who are there would rather live in poverty than come home to me.

I want to be a billionaire but not that freaking badly. I still want to buy all the things I never had but I would like people to share it with so that when I close my eyes, it's our names I see in splashing lights and not just mine. I still want to be on the cover of Forbes magazine but I don't want to be standing next to Oprah and the Queen, I want to be standing next to you. Because there's no point to the millions if after all is said and done, the people who really matter including myself, end up a miserable mess.