Waiting for Tomorrow

I save, I pray, I ask, I work, I do anything and everything. And for what? I tell myself it is so that I can have a comfortable future. So that I can fulfil goals and dreams. So that I can have a better tomorrow. But really, for what? For children I may never have,a husband I may never marry, a house I may never build, a pension I may never see, a tomorrow that may never come. We are taught to always look ahead, see the future, plan for disaster, plan for happiness. So we do it everyday, all the time. We educate more, we invest bigger, we think wiser and we try to make sure that when the time comes we will be much better off. We will look back and pat ourselves on the back and tell ourselves, we were the wisest in the shed, that in a company of fools, we did good. We planned ahead. We keep forgetting that we may look back at our current present and see nothing but pain, shame and destruction. That in our quest for a better and brighter future, we forgot about creating a happier today. We totally forgot to live for now. To live for this moment while we are still breathing and living. We have forgotten to smile because we were planning on how we shall smile tomorrow. We have forgotten to love because tomorrow we want to be in a better position to love....better. We are forgetting to laugh today because we are waiting to laugh louder tomorrow. We keep hearing that we should be best we can be. We went to schools that told us just that. In every logo, in every speech, in every career day. Yet when we leave and go out to be the BEST WE CAN BE, we strive with all our might to be the BEST WE SHALL BE at some time in the unforeseeable future. We want to be CEO's and business moguls some day in the future. Maybe in 10, 20, 40 years. We plan meticulously for 'some day' and forget all about today. For a day we are not sure of. An abstract point far away. Today when the sun is shining, when the birds are singing, when the laughter is still resounding; we seem not to care for. We forget about the people who love us today because we want them to be happy tomorrow. But here is the thing about tomorrow; we can plan and write and work and pray about it, but it is as uncertain as the wind. As full of surprises as the Nairobi weather. Life changes in an instant of unplanned and unforeseen circumstance. In a glimpse, everything we had waited and worked for disappears....and then what next? Do we curl up and die? Do we start over? Do we curse at God? What happens when tomorrow doesn't happen? When the Stock market crushes, the house you have been planning for is demolished? the bank you use crashes? Your skills and education 'are no longer required at this organisation'? What happens then? I am not advocating for a hill billy life where we cruise thoughtlessly through life. It is wise to plan for tomorrow. Even prudent. But sometimes when you look too much into the future, you forget about what is right in front of you and eventually end up with a past full of regret. Or worse, no past at all. Success is not pegged on what you do tomorrow, it is based on what the ones around you believe of you today. Tomorrow shall come with its own, and if you were ready to meet today, you shall be fine tomorrow. But you should not forget about who and what should matter today. You should not be over-looking now as you try to peer into tomorrow. Invest as much in now as you are in your future. Tell someone you love them, spend some time by yourself, read a book, get your nails and hair done, go to the movies, let yourself cry a little, take a well deserved trip, go back home, say sorry, ask for forgiveness, take a cooking class, knit a pair of socks, bask in the sun for a few minutes. Take a break from all your planning and your notes and your projections. Live a little.....for today. Because when it is all said and done. Now is all you have.This moment and nothing else.