My muse

Ask any creative, where they get their inspiration to do their best work, their best painting, their best writing, what inspired their best work. I don't just think it applies to creatives. Generally anyone really.everyone has a muse. A source of inspiration. A reason for their best work. The reason why your talent is the way it is. It could be a place, a feeling you get, a person, an experience....it could even be something you wear, your lucky underwear perhaps. To the lucky ones, its God. According to urban dictionary: Muse : The greatest band in the world..... #give me a moment to shake my head# and with that I give you my favourite muse song : but a few pages in: Muse : someone special who gives you the ability to write something amazing. music, poetry, stories.its like someone who always gives you a spectacularly exquisite idea or feeling that enables you to create (or come up with) a great thing. its A HUUUGE compliment. Inspiration needs to be fueled, great works need to be inspired. If one muse fades, another needs to be reborn because once it goes, it goes with a significant part of you. The most significant part of you. I write about muses because my muse broke, cracked, got lost, just did something that wasn't right. I can't explain it. It just went. And because it left me, I have been unable to write, draw or even think in any creative manner for awhile now. My creativity just walked away. Waved, blew one of those meaningless kisses and went on holiday. It's not a heart breaking moment, when you wake up and realise, not only don't you feel like but that you don't care. You just become indifferent to your life as you knew it. Indifferent to the very thing that defines you. Suddenly all I want to do is sit back, stare at birds singing and do nothing. All I want is to change who I am and become something different, do something different. So I'll admit I have slowed down. Not because I'm bust but because my mojo broke and I don't quite feel like finding it now. Being in a job and a business that requires abit of creativity, I know this is not the best place to be at. But I just don't feel like.

And yet here I am. Writing, going to work every morning, trying to drag the little juice I have left out. Its been 2 months of feeling blegh! Coming from a time when even ants invading my work space was a source of material, this is very disconcerting. Its a new month so something's gotta give. Maybe time to take that broken muse and fix it. Or maybe my broken pieces can be my new sources of inspiration. The sharp edges, the cracked patches, maybe the scars they have left behind can be my new fodder of things to say and wonder loudly about. Maybe rebuilding my muse will be my muse. Or maybe I'll just replace it and find a whole new sense of musings..... It's easy to say God is my inspiration and yes He is the reason, I breath, eat, talk and do all other things that pertain......but its not the same. God is the one I talk to about my broken muse (or lost muse, is there a milk carton I could use for this) and ask for Him to fix it. I am abit jealous of those people who call Him their muse and mean it. Because He never breaks, leaves or disappears. Maybe now as I write this, I should just make Him my muse mara that. :)

But even now as I sit back and in my mind sip my margarita I wonder if I will ever want a muse like the last one, whether I want anything else to inspire me so strongly, so deeply. ( no strike that)....I want a muse that will inspire me even more strongly, that will take me even higher, that will help me conquer myself, that will take me further, deeper, make me happier. Maybe I'm in this place so that I can rest, regruop, come back with a bang, or at the very least, a slight ripple. Yeah. Maybe that is why. I think I will accept that as a reason. I read somewhere: actually in a book I was given by my good friend- It's your time, that all you need to do is take that next step, you are closer to your goal than you think. Maybe all I need is to get up from my magharita, I may be closer to my next big thing than I think.

This wasn't particularly meant to be a bitch fest about how I have lost my mojo. Or to make excuses about why I may be abit lazier in my writing than usual. This was written because I wanted to tell myself that not everyday is Sunday, some days are *ishy Mondays, some days are Bend-over Thursdays and some days are pool party, do nothing Saturdays. Everyday has its stride and we are meant to take everyday in stride.

My muse will be back. I'm not sure of it but I'm hopeful. Yep, always hopeful *leaning back and taking a sip and looking at this totally awesome cartoon*