Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Why I want to get married...
Hehehe! I know. No I do not have a fever, I have not been replaced by aliens and yes, I will admit, I have gone a little bit soft on the edges.I've never been particularly vocal about such matters mostly because I never thought I really wanted to get married. I like my independence, I like my time.
About a month ago, I gave up on the whole concept of dating and marriage and happy ever after. (A story for another day). For the life of me, I could not understand why I would want to knowingly throw myself into harms way. All the pain and drama and arguments over tiny and ridiculous issues. I had been hurt and it just didn't feel worth the effort.(Back to the reason for this blog!)In this day and age where we have build such thick walls around ourselves that not even a nuclear war would bring down, the concept of opening even a window to another person seems incredulous (urban dictionary: of a nature that does not believe or is prone to be skeptical. as used in a sentence:An incredulous person would not believe this definition.)
Life is continuously showing us how terrible the other side of marriage looks.How bad things can get. Women lie, men cheat and if that brat that was throwing a tantrum at Uchumi last week is to go by, children are a menace that should not have been let out of the womb. Every conversation I have involving the subject usually ends with a declaration of either "I am never getting married" or "I don't believe I got married". This would be fine if we were teenagers but we are not. All our parents were married with broods of kids by my age. And yet here we are. Looking warily at every bride we see foolishly marching down the aisle.
As recently as last week, texts got licked from a local radio station and if you had the chance to read them, you would wonder why so many people fall into the marriage trap. It was story after story of fed up, disgusted and resentful couples who are just barely holding on. Every week there's a story of a man who's genitals now lie in a hospital incinerator or a family that has been slashed to bits by an angry spouse or an enraged husband/wife who went after some barmaid, co-worker or secretary or something.
So why do I want to get married?
My reasons are all selfish (insert evil laugh here). There is always the thought of going home to a legally warmed bed and all those other things, etc,etc. But that is not the main reason why I am now thinking of throwing my independence in the trash. When I go to weddings, I look at the groom. Most of the time, everyone looks at he bride but in my opinion, if you want to know a marriage will work, look at the groom. If the groom is happy, and I mean truly happy, I can guarantee, there's a happy marriage ahead. So those are the grooms that make me think, maybe it could not be all bad.
I want to get married to a man who will truly be happy to see me stand by his side. A man who will brag about me. A man who believes he's lucky to have me. Someone who will make me believe that this could be one of the best decisions I have ever made. I have met a guy who said "I have been married 279 days to the most incredible woman I have ever met" Can you imagine how happy that woman is to go home every evening. To that man. The man who cannot even begin to imagine life without you. It made me think that not every marriage is crushing to the ground and running to file for a divorce. 279 days may not be much but I have had the privilege of living with a couple who have been counting the last 33 years of marriage as a blessing (yeah, I know, I also don't know where my skepticism for marriage comes from!)
I want to come home to a house that doesn't feel cold. I want to get married so that I can have someone to rant and rave about my day. I want to get married so that I have someone who will exclusively worry about me for the rest of their lives.
I want to get married so that I can experiment my recipes on someone. I want to get married so that I can bounce my ideas off him no matter how ill thought of or silly and listen to honest criticism. I want to get married so that I never have to look for another mechanic or wonder how the buttons on the camera function. I want to get married so that I never have to go for another gruesome first date or listen to another boring story of things that I don't care about.
I want to get married so that I can have someone to gossip with and make fun of useless yet wrongly named movies. ( not to mention make fun of other people around us) I want to get married so that I can have kids and my kids can have a father they look up to.I want to get married not so that I can have a financial advisor but also a cheerleader, a confidant and a friend. I want to get married so that I never have to worry alone again.
Why do I really want to get married? So that someday I can brag "I married my best friend.....and I didn't even have to turn lesbian."