The front.

I hear I have a blank confused look. Probably it is because I am generally quite a confused person. But most times it is just the mask that I have become comfortable with.

I don't know about the rest of the world, but I front a lot. I don't like people knowing too much about what's going on in the background, lest they judge me too harshly. I wake up in the morning, I look at my problems and then I choose my mask. Something that will tell the world "I am fine. Don't get too close." The confused mask works best.

I hang up my faces in my wardrobe next to my nicest outfits,closest to my highest heels. The worse I feel, the prettier the mask. In fact if I dress too well, something is definitely up. The fronting helps me hold things together. Put things in perspective without having people hovering and wondering (or worse being indifferent).

The masks I wear protect me from the scrutiny of the world but sometimes the cracks can be seen not too far from the surface. Real emotion can be mapped by the streaks running down my face and sometimes I just get too tired to put on the mask on or care about the cracks. I just hope at the point it cracks, there is no one around to see it. That way I can go powder my nose, fill in the cracks and paint on my smile.

A few have successfully gotten under the cracks but the results haven't been nearly as great as expected. Of course unless you have been forced by circumstances to love me unconditionally. I messed up quite badly so today, I'm too tired for my confused mask or my happy mask or any mask for that matter so I guess today I'll just hang out with those who love me unconditionally. Let's just hope they are prepared.