Say what you mean to say.

Last week a minister got fired for overstepping his verbal boundaries. He declared he might as well be fired for taking a stand than do nothing at all (I paraphrase...his words were much harsher). Well, his wish was his command. I was a bit jealous of him. Not for the fact that he is now jobless and might be facing criminal charges for inciting the public, but because he was able to say exactly what he meant. No fear, no regrets. Ok!maybe he had 1 or 2 regrets.

I hardly ever speak my mind. I think about my response, I phrase and rephrase it in my head, I find proper synonyms for all the wrong, hurtful words and finally when I open my mouth.........all the wrong words come out. I console myself by saying that my mind is much much faster than my mouth and so if I say what I really meant to say in the first place, I'd trip all over my words and wouldn't make sense anyway.

That is a lie! I'm afraid that my words will hurt someone else or that people's opinion of me will change or that they won't understand the gravity of what I'm trying to say or some other reason that barely makes sense. That's why I'm amazed by people who speak their minds and wear their emotions on their sleeves. They have a freedom I can't lay claim to. They let go of things much more easily. They don't over think, they don't get misinterpreted or misquoted and I think they don't go around regretting things they should have said but didn't!

I have a couple of regrets about things I should have said. I think I regret more what I never had the courage to say than what I have ever said. I keep thinking that maybe I could have changed the situation I was avoiding. Tactful speaking is fine if you are running for president or when trying to land a big client(and occasionally when your boss threatens to fire you) but now I'm starting to learn that it doesn't exactly help much in normal day-to-day life.

I should have screamt when I needed to, I should have laughed out loud, I should have taken the compliment instead of brushing it off and when the tongue lashing was required, I should have done it with my whole heart behind it. Since now I know better, I'm hoping I'll be able to say what I should say, when I should say it. No more hiding behind polite talk, no more cooling off in the bathroom to avoid confrontation, no more worrying about imaginary consequences. Its time to really say what I mean to say. Just get it off my chest and move on.