The world cup is finally here and even if it's all the way in South Africa, football fever has arrived just as strongly here. Regardless of whether you are a fan or not, everyone is singing along to "waving flag" and shaking their hips to the newer retarded version of "zangalewa". For most mamas this is going to be either the longest or the shortest month ever. It could be the longest because you have no control over your TV, fridge or most unfortunately your man. Women tend to feel neglected even when they know the reasons. I will put this as bluntly as I possibly can: This month even your tears won't make him get off the couch and take a shower.
This is my 2 cents of advice to all women: you have a life beyond him, his boys and his issues so this month I suggest you take full advantage of the fact! Do you remember how much fun life was when you were single? Well, this month you have been given a free pass to raise your waving flag too. There are a million other things you could do other than hovering around the TV tending to his every emotional whim. He can get his own pint from the fridge and switch on the water heater at half time. Woman, it's time to get your groove on.
1.You can club Monday-to-Monday because if you both think about it critically, you are just being a disturbance in the house. Girls nights out are back. You best recognize.
2.He will have no problems with food. As long as you order nyam chom and kachumbari and stock the fridge with crates of his favorite EABL brand, there will be no complaints so guess what? no cooking this month.
3.That best friend metro- sexual pal your neanderthal boyfriend/husband hates. It is time to get him off the shelf. I mean, you still need to be told how pretty you are and as long as Mr. man has world cup, who is meant to notice those new jeans that make your arse look so damn fine?
4.The TV is yours....the car is mine.You are finally fully mobile this month.and anyway he won't even notice it's not in the parking.
5.It's time to try all those things he just never wanted to do with you. I don't want to watch soccer and you don't want to learn pottery in that class with the Enrique look-alike teacher. cool!greatest compromise ever!
6.Finally, (and this I will whisper so he doesn't feel bad) no morning sex. He will be too tired to even want to bother anyway so why remind him. Just roll off quietly from bed and leave.
This will be a brilliant month. "When I get older, I will be stronger..........."
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