The buck stops with me.

The saying goes: "When you point to someone, there is always 4 fingers pointing back at you".
That's because whichever sage that this was knew how easy it is to pass on the blame. You go and muck up and then immediately look around for the nearest victim. You crush into the gate drunk, the watchie didn't open the gate on time, you crush into a wall, the wall wasn't there yesterday. You burn the food, hii gas ni mpya,iko na moto mob! We have all sorts of excuses why it will never ever be our fault.

But have you ever thought that maybe you are to blame? Everything that has gone wrong has one common factor. You. When you got fired.....did you steal office supplies?! When you burnt the food.....the baby wasn't crying then. When the tyre burst in the middle of nowhere......your housemate told you to get them checked. And when you crushed into that car, well insurance told me never to admit to fault.

Sometimes things go wrong and it is honestly not your fault. Some other idiot came and messed everything up. At that point you can scream out his/her name at the top of your lungs and blame them with everything from global warming to the traffic in Nairobi streets at end month. But we are so used to passing on the blame that when we have done something so awful, we just never look at ourselves.

We are not avoiding blaming ourselves and we are not particularly afraid. I think we just don't know that we are truly on the wrong. It's probably why sincere apologies are so rare. We don't understand that someone is getting blamed for the pain and distress only we are causing. If it is a one-off event, then you can be excused for your ignorance. However, if you just never seem to get it right over and over again, then maybe its time to step back and see exactly who is on the wrong.

It hurts less to blame someone else and the only person you think you are hurting is the one you are piling the blame on. Unfortunately fate has a way of turning the tables and some day guess who'll be in the receiving end? At some point you have to declare that this time you are going down for your crimes (and no!don't go around thinking people will respect you more. They probably won't even notice your act of selflessness) but it is the right thing to do and you know it. So the next time something avoidable goes wrong, don't be too quick to grab the life boat and jump ship. Try staying behind and fix your mess.